Asher & Melanie

As a wedding photographer, I appreciate when couples and guests cry. It makes for beautiful and emotional photos. Sometimes I even joke with my clients that tears give photographers their powers. That’s silly to say, of course—but it’s a reminder that an outward expression of your feelings is a wonderful thing. There’s no reason to stifle yourself just because a camera is present.

While misty eyes have their charm, Asher & Melanie’s wedding took things to a new level. I’m pretty sure every guest cried—and I myself fought back a tear or two, and I’m not usually a crier. Yes, the love was absolutely palpable at this wedding. Pair that with the stunning redwood forests of Northern California, and you begin to understand why this wedding felt extra special.

A Little About Sparrow Valley Retreat

Asher & Melanie chose Sparrow Valley Retreat in Aptos, CA for their wedding day. This stunning location is tucked away in the redwood forests of Santa Cruz. To access the retreat, you need to drive long and winding unpaved roads—which is pretty typical for vanlifers like us. But with little to no cell reception along the way, it’s good to alert guests about what to expect on the drive in.

I can’t give a glowing enough review to Sparrow Valley Retreat. The wedding ceremony space is nestled perfectly within the redwood grove, with stadium-style benches allowing guests to sit comfortably while watching the festivities. Just beyond the grove is a clearing with long picnic tables, ideal for the reception. There’s a big beautiful house for the couple and their guests—and even some delightful trailers for extra space. The whole retreat exudes a welcoming feeling that charms the senses.

Beauty by Bridget doing the most—performing makeup for both spouses!

Getting Ready for the Wedding

The day started with getting-ready photos, each to-be-wed in their own area. Melanie got ready with the help of her sisters and mom in the house while Asher—who goes by they/them pronouns—got dressed in one of the trailers with a few close friends. Both Asher and Melanie buzzing with energy to see their partner.

With a little strategic maneuvering, I got our couple back to back for their first look. It was all about making sure they both got the full surprise of seeing their special someone dressed in their wedding best. Melanie wore a lovely white dress that seemed to glow as she moved. Asher wore a blue suit with some matching eye shadow, which I absolutely adored.

We had a moment to ourselves, so I took the opportunity to snap the most adorable portraits.

A Lovingly Tearful LGBT Wedding Ceremony

Up next was the ceremony, which was officiated by my lovely husband and business partner, Isiah. I know Isiah worked really hard on this ceremony, incorporating some unique elements into the ritual.

It started with a quote from Justice Anthony Kennedy following the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling which legalized the fundamental right to marry for same-sex couples. Even though the reading had some legal language in it, it was super moving remembering how recently LGBT marriage rights were passed—and how vital these rights are to protect.

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it—respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.” ~ Justice Anthony Kennedy

Nearly everyone got teary-eyed as Asher and Melanie read their vows to one another. This was followed by the “I Do”s and a handfasting ceremony in which the couple made a series of vows to one another.

Next was my favorite part of the whole ceremony and where the emotional floodgates opened up for so many attendees. Asher and Melanie chose a ring warming for their ceremony.

In a ring warming, each attendee holds the wedding rings in their hands to make a silent wish or blessing on the couple’s behalf. They then pass it to the next person, and so on… until it reaches the couple, who places it on each other’s fingers. It’s a touching way to get everyone involved in the wedding ceremony.

As each person held the rings, I watched expressions change and tears stream from their eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen every guest cry at a wedding before, but I’m pretty sure it happened here.

Ring-warming ceremonies take a moment, especially if you have a larger guest count. So while each guest was in their feelings, Asher and Melanie were holding hands and flirting on stage. Isiah told me later that Asher and Melanie thought they were being quiet enough that only he could hear them, so Isiah politely pointed out that he was wearing a microphone for the wedding video—which elicited some nervous laughter and blushing cheeks from our couple.

Once the rings reached the front, Asher and Melanie placed them on each other’s fingers and went in for the kiss. A big cheer erupted from the stands, and I eagerly snapped as many pictures as possible.

Wedding Reception Under the Redwoods

After the ceremony, everyone retreated to the picnic tables for cocktail hour. The lights were turned on, which added a special ambiance. With glasses in hand, several guests made toasts to their newlywed friends—offering words of love, support, and sheer joy.

Asher made their own toast, which was so personal that I almost burst into tears. But before I could, one red-eyed attendee did it for me. As everyone snacked on mini charcuterie boards, Isiah quipped with Asher that they should hydrate all of their friends—since there wasn’t a dry eye anywhere.

Now was the time for celebration. And what a celebration it was! Everyone had a scrumptious dinner around the redwood tables, the sky turning dark above our heads. The reception had cake and dancing—even a visitation from the venue dogs. They were so fluffy and friendly—and only carefully let out by the owners after all the food was gone. Smart!

When Isiah and I left the wedding, the part was still going strong with ABBA blaring into the misty night.

Wedding Tips for Santa Cruz Wedding

Interested in getting married or eloping in Santa Cruz? If you or your guests are traveling to this area, here are a few helpful tips:

Know your airports. If you’re traveling, you’ll want to compare prices between airports. This area is served by the San Jose (SJC) and San Francisco (SFO) Airports, which are roughly an hour (give or take) from Santa Cruz.
Rent a car. To get around, you or your guests may need to rent a vehicle. Expect some winding roads, and drive carefully.
Come prepared. While Santa Cruz is a city with all the usual amenities you might expect, the surrounding areas lack the usual infrastructure. So consider what you might need for the days and nights that you are there.
Stay longer. Don’t just come for the wedding. Soak of the local charm! There so much to see here—from the beaches to the downtown shops, hiking areas to restaurants, and so much more.
Get an expert photographer. Book a photographer that knows the area. I’ve lived in and around the Bay Area for 7+ years, so I can give you all sorts of great tips and suggestions.