How to Write Your Vows
Written by Isiah Kurz
Excited about your wedding day, but terrified of delivering your own vows? You’re not alone. A lot of people are filled with anxiety at the thought of writing their own vows. And it makes sense—vows are incredibly personal, vulnerable even, and a lot of people really hate writing or performing in front of others.
Don’t worry. Love & Latitudes Elopement Photography is here to help you with a few tips. Follow these outlines and you’ll be sure to deliver a beautiful affirmation of your love on your wedding day.
Method 1: Tell Your Story Together
When people start writing their vows, they flashback to writing essays in grade school. But the nice thing about vows is that YOU are the expert on your own relationship. No one knows your story better than you two. So tell it!
Start with your first impression of your special someone: Was it love at first sight? Or did it take you a while to warm up to each other? Where did you meet? Anything special about that moment?
Call out important milestones: What was your first date? Your first kiss? Your first vacation together?
Identify difficult times that you weathered together: Life can be really hard sometimes. Luckily, you’ve had someone to help you through it. Touch on times your partner has been there for you such as a job loss, a death in the family, or health issues.
Share moments you celebrated together: Romantic partnerships are also about the good times. Talk about times when you or your partner accomplished something amazing or when you celebrated a life event like a graduation, getting a pet, or moving in together.
Finally, make a series of promises to your special someone: Now that you’ve reflected on your history as a couple, it should be easy to list out the vows you are making to your fiancé. Think about what matters to you as individuals and as a couple. What can you do to support this relationship for the years to come? Examples include promising that you will always share in each other's laughter, that you will alleviate the difficulties you face together, and that you will help your partner achieve their personal goals.
Writing your vows is as simple as calling out the milestones of your relationship. But don’t feel confined to this format. You can skip parts, focus on a single moment, or wax poetic about your journey together. All that matters is that you put your emotions into words.
Method 2: The Multi-Dimensional Relationship
Your special someone plays an important role in your life, right? Well, actually they play a lot of important roles. They are your partner, your lover, your confidant, and your best friend. Why not call each of these out?
This method might seem a little more complicated, but it’s easy to come up with something touching.
Include one or two sentences writing to your fiancé:
as a friend
as a lover
as a protector
as someone you protect
as someone you admire
as someone you are pursuing
as someone who pursued you
as someone you have a history with
as someone you have a future with
And then put it all together. Feel empowered to add or subtract categories as you develop your vows.
Method 3: Borrow What’s Beautiful
Ever read something so powerful and beautiful that you wish you wrote it yourself? Of course, you have. And believe it or not, so did the person who wrote it in the first place. The truth of the matter is that good writers steal.
It’s often easier to identify with other people’s words because we often are too critical of our own writing. Take a step back, snag some quotes from more experienced writers that resonate with you and play around with the content.
So, if you see something you like, take it and make it your own. Poems, song lyrics, movie lines, quotes from books—it’s all up for grabs!
Nobody is going to burn you for plagiarizing your vows. And as you blend these cribbed lines into your vows, you’ll likely change them just a bit to make them fit. Before you know it, what you’ve stolen has become completely your own!
What’s Next?
As you use these pointers, you likely come up with your own voice and style. Once you get started, the rest usually comes easily.
But what comes after the vows? Decide whether you want to write down your vows or save them to your phone. There are pros and cons to both. Written vows offer a more classic or formal feel—but are easily misplaced. Saving your vows digitally means it’s much easier to access—but phones die and can be distracting. A smart move is to save your vows in multiple places, just in case.
You can also class things up by purchasing or making a vow book. Here are a few of our favorite vow books:
Leather | Paper | Wood | Ribbon | Book | Non-gendered | Designs
Up next is presenting your vows. Pro tip: Go slow! It’s tempting to rush yourself when you’re feeling nervous. But trust us, the best thing you can do is slow down, read your vows clearly, and make occasional eye contact with your fiancé. Keep in mind that tears happen. Crying is normal and makes for some great photos.
Last but not least, save your vows. You or your spouse might want to look at them later or have a vow renewal a few years down the line. You can save them online, tuck them away in a wedding photo album, or be extra cute by framing them. Whatever you do, keep 'em safe!
And there you have it, everything you need to know about how to write your vows!
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Vow Writing & Editing Services
We've written our own vows, so we know that writing yours can be stressful! There's a lot to write and remember, so if you're struggling to write yours, we're here to help. Our on staff officiant can help you write and edit your vows to perfection. If you're interested, hit us up for a free consultation!